I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
She's JV to your varsity
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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