remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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