I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
