There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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