grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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