How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
