Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
