And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he shaved USA in his pubs
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I need a burrito and a hug.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize