careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
