So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
