You're completely useless in the revolution.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
