I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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