plz talk dirty to me
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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