I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
