fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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