I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
