I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Randomize