At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize