Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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