No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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