I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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