I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
