Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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