whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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