I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
