As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
