Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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