And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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