I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
