How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
