Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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