the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
