well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
