i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
