I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
