i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We have started to decorate penises.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
