so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
