i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
