i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
