Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
