I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
