Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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