Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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