so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
