there's paper in my vomit.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
