i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
