I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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