so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
