I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
