someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
