Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
