If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Pooping to opera.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
