i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
