i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
