It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
