Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Randomize
