we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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