I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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