no, he came in my armpit
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
