ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
