Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I want a musical about memes.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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