Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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