then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
