Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
