I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
