We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
