Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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