Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
