I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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