i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I see more hoeing in ur future
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