i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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