what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
