We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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